To restrain oneself from ill judgement

One eventually realizes that, though our biological clock urges us to mate, especially in our teens, one would rather seek a partner whom one may trust and share companionship with enduringly rather than simply a figure to focus one's affections and passion. For a temperament such as mine (though I do not will it) may imagine adoration for a time, it may not be lasting. And one of the greatest ills in life is to live with the knowledge that one must (as long as the other lives) be fettered with one whom one can barely tolerate (and this fettering is necessary, since I do not agree with divorce or disloyalty), and to deceive the other into trusting your affections and judgement in choosing him. It is an ill, indeed.
I fear solitude, and it seems ingrained. Yet more do I fear a hasty, ill-thought out partnership. I do not trust men in general to be faithful, but more than that, I do not trust my ability to love.