An inconsistency in humanitarian philosophy

I have discovered a germ in all our youthful ideals that holds the key to ourselves becoming like our decaying fathers. We house an underlying goal that is completely incompatible to our noble dreams, this fact we are incongruously unaware of.
Take me, for instance. I wish to become rich enough to donate regularly to charities, own a personal library that I may donate to the community after I die, become a prestigious psychiatrist so I can tend to these horrible social problems whilst on my free hours make enough to buy a great deal of books to read…etc. There is a personal gain to all my apparent giving. If I were born with nothing would I desire to give anything? Most likely not. It is only after I have (hypothetically) procured more than enough that I am willing to give.
Few of us are able to accept the nit and grit it takes to be a truly giving individual.
Even after realizing thing, I cannot get up the gumption to change my so called ‘noble ideals’. We think of a rich person giving to charity and going to impoverished areas with gifts and songs as extremely kind and noble creatures. But they can afford the time and gifts.
Most of us will, in the next ten years or more, be willing to ditch a few regulations and disregard some principles in order to achieve our ideal financial security (awesome ride, wardrobe, house…etc.)
The major portion of the individuals who are truly giving with upright moral codes will never see the light of a news camera and never be truly recognized for their efforts because they do not do it to gain fame and those who wish to claim the fame for their own often undermine them. (Remember that dreadful sinking feeling you got when reading ‘the little mermaid’ where the prince woke up to see a pretty land girl and mistakenly took her to be his rescuer?)
Certain religions say such good sacrificial behavior shall be rewarded after the mortal body perishes. In Christianity, I always wonder if the good Samaritan in Jesus’ parable will ever get to heaven because obviously he’s a heathen, even a good one, and has never heard the ‘good news’. Why would Jesus use a faulty parable to praise one when he says that the kingdom of heaven is only through him? I fear truly that there is no place our ‘eternal souls’ can go after death, that, like in Philip Pullman’s “His dark materials”, our ghosts shall dissipate into dust, doesn’t that make all our lives meaningless, whether we have been good or bad? There is no one, solid solution to the horrible question, is there? Maybe all those founders of the religions pondered this so long that they finally thought “Chuck it, we just need some fantastic dream for people to conform, so we’ll put down these regulations for our model utopia and add a supreme being/sphere so the individual who plays nice will gain some satisfaction in their afterlife.”
Ugh.
My dad, for instance, is the most upright man I have ever met. He is horribly modest, reluctant to spend money on anything other than the bare necessities, and never thinks twice about returning surplus government grants even though it takes years for the grant applications to get through. He is often tricked by his less scrupulous colleagues, taken advantage of by greedy relatives who feed off his filial piety to get ‘never-gonna-paya-back’ loans and generally will never pass mediocre because he is never willing to ‘shove when it comes to push’. What I find powerful about him is that he never, ever feels resentful about all these slights, I would probably have never heard about them if not for my mom, who has a lot of unresolved issues.
I believe that if everyone had his conciliatory, justice oriented, giving attitude, nobody would be more powerful than others and the world would be as Karl Marx had originally envisioned – total equality. (This reminds me of this amazing movie called ‘Dinotopia’ with their ideal world, lovely) Marx’s method was faulty because it relied on the government’s autocracy and attempts at brainwashing civilians (at least that is how it turned out), which won’t work forever unless it turns out like that dark planet in ‘a wrinkle in time’ where all actions are controlled by one big brain and nobody is ever truly happy. Change has to come from the heart, otherwise we will always wish for something better, something more, something we ‘deserve’. We must aggressively instill knowledge into people so everyone will be more mature and voluntarily be giving, moderate individuals.
Unfortunately, we would be fighting a losing battle because with each generation comes the same rebellion and want, and our lives are so short that when we realize that personal material pleasure does not create life long satisfaction and happiness, we are already too old and infirmed or unattractive to become effective role models to the young hot-bloods. Our ancestors sensed this and wished to leave us the legacy of ‘tradition’ so that we need not go through the learning pains, but this was ineffective because, not being able to understand the concept of these traditions, we tore them down. They are considered detrimental to progress and restricting our wild desire to express our selfish individuality and want.
This proves that our noble ideals do not “die” due to the barrage of society’s expectations, but that they fall away gradually to reveal our true desires and goals. Perhaps if we were taught better by more mature and adequate mentors and role models… but no, we’re fixed.