August 28, 2006 Perfect Happiness
Perhaps I cannot be connected to God because I do not believe in perfect happiness. Then again, if any sort of world were perfect, I would not be happy. I've heard once that it isn't the environment we must ask for perfection, but our personalities to mature enough to appreciate whatever is there.
I used to think about what heaven was like. In 'Anne of Green Gable' series it was mentioned by one of the characters that heaven is us all up in the clouds singing and playing harps to praise God. I thought - now that seems horribly dull... Can we not do anything else? Study, perhaps? In that movie which I forget the name of played by Robert something (the guy who also played in Madame Doubtfire) it is said that heaven is all our best dreams come true. But that doesn't mention God in any way, which is the total context of what is 'eternal life'. I would like to think of heaven, my heaven, a place full of books and paper and pens and light - a library, really, or a mansion full of books, pillows, nice pens, paint boards, a ballroom, music...etc. Everything that I love.
I must be insane, but I prayed to God that - that I may die before I lose everything that makes me happy.
Sometimes a delicious shiver passes through me and I feel that I must follow it - that I must pursue something of grand importance and beauty - that there is truly something greatly worth pursuing. They say it is God. I do not know... perhaps we pin this longing on us to Him who is almighty and worthy - yet I cannot be made to feel the love for God in me to be as close to the passion that shoots fleeingly through my heart . To seek something - experience a joy a beauty that only life can give... something more than what is now. Perhaps there is a reason and a goal for this unknown longing, perhaps it is merely because we are humans and forever longing for what is not to be. I felt this sort of joy when I read Madeliene L'Engle's books, yet hers are an elementary stage, though highly pure. I felt this in 'The Dark Materials' by Philip Pullman (I admired this work so much that I took the bother to remember the author's name) to a rather spread out quality - yet his work seemed to speak more of the darkness of things.
I used to think about what heaven was like. In 'Anne of Green Gable' series it was mentioned by one of the characters that heaven is us all up in the clouds singing and playing harps to praise God. I thought - now that seems horribly dull... Can we not do anything else? Study, perhaps? In that movie which I forget the name of played by Robert something (the guy who also played in Madame Doubtfire) it is said that heaven is all our best dreams come true. But that doesn't mention God in any way, which is the total context of what is 'eternal life'. I would like to think of heaven, my heaven, a place full of books and paper and pens and light - a library, really, or a mansion full of books, pillows, nice pens, paint boards, a ballroom, music...etc. Everything that I love.
I must be insane, but I prayed to God that - that I may die before I lose everything that makes me happy.
Sometimes a delicious shiver passes through me and I feel that I must follow it - that I must pursue something of grand importance and beauty - that there is truly something greatly worth pursuing. They say it is God. I do not know... perhaps we pin this longing on us to Him who is almighty and worthy - yet I cannot be made to feel the love for God in me to be as close to the passion that shoots fleeingly through my heart . To seek something - experience a joy a beauty that only life can give... something more than what is now. Perhaps there is a reason and a goal for this unknown longing, perhaps it is merely because we are humans and forever longing for what is not to be. I felt this sort of joy when I read Madeliene L'Engle's books, yet hers are an elementary stage, though highly pure. I felt this in 'The Dark Materials' by Philip Pullman (I admired this work so much that I took the bother to remember the author's name) to a rather spread out quality - yet his work seemed to speak more of the darkness of things.
posted by Mignon Chang at 6:07 AM
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