random thoughts whilst in church
Communism seems to expect humans to thrive on labor, bread, and a universal sense of righteousness(or the concept of it) alone.
This makes me pessimistic about globalization. What is its ultimate goal, really? They give it such pretty meanings, and they go ahead with it anyway... but perhaps it is simply going to foster the conglomeration of economy onto the hands of an elite minority.
One feels so guilty, being made to come to church, yet not willing to be here.
Perhaps what I must guard against most is my pride in my righteousness - the belief that sensibility can triumph over inclinations to do ill, and simple sensibility can be the motivation for goodness.
But my church does not focus on the matters of the world that I consider necessary focuses of human sympathy (pollution, inequality...etc), rather, the assets of my church go towards ministry and the building of more churches.
I do not know my mother's motives for forcing me to come to church, when she herself lacks the devotion that justifies her nagging. Perhaps it is as I - though I do not myself practice devotion, I feel certain that it is good for people in general. However, I have learnt a great deal from my mother, particularly about avoiding my own natural faults. I must not force people to do things simply because I believe it would do them good, though it is not necessary. If children are not inclined towards piano lessons, church...etc, it would only make the hate it more to force them. I should not nag, for the more words repeated, the less they are heard.
But oh! How I wish my mother acted less impetuously! She is so much like a child in her tempers, her resorts to blckmailing and justification of herself by criticizing others. And when she does impetuous, immature things, she considers herself cute. Never does she realize that it is out of her role as a mother and a wife (especially as a grownup), and that she really and truly annoys people when she does it.
When I look at my mother, I am hesitant about having a child myself. Not because of the pain/discomfort, but that I fear I shall torture my children with a nature similar to my mother's. It is a frightening notion - that I shall ever be like her. But in my treatments towards my brother I see a shadow of my mother, and thus worry sprouts.
This makes me pessimistic about globalization. What is its ultimate goal, really? They give it such pretty meanings, and they go ahead with it anyway... but perhaps it is simply going to foster the conglomeration of economy onto the hands of an elite minority.
One feels so guilty, being made to come to church, yet not willing to be here.
Perhaps what I must guard against most is my pride in my righteousness - the belief that sensibility can triumph over inclinations to do ill, and simple sensibility can be the motivation for goodness.
But my church does not focus on the matters of the world that I consider necessary focuses of human sympathy (pollution, inequality...etc), rather, the assets of my church go towards ministry and the building of more churches.
I do not know my mother's motives for forcing me to come to church, when she herself lacks the devotion that justifies her nagging. Perhaps it is as I - though I do not myself practice devotion, I feel certain that it is good for people in general. However, I have learnt a great deal from my mother, particularly about avoiding my own natural faults. I must not force people to do things simply because I believe it would do them good, though it is not necessary. If children are not inclined towards piano lessons, church...etc, it would only make the hate it more to force them. I should not nag, for the more words repeated, the less they are heard.
But oh! How I wish my mother acted less impetuously! She is so much like a child in her tempers, her resorts to blckmailing and justification of herself by criticizing others. And when she does impetuous, immature things, she considers herself cute. Never does she realize that it is out of her role as a mother and a wife (especially as a grownup), and that she really and truly annoys people when she does it.
When I look at my mother, I am hesitant about having a child myself. Not because of the pain/discomfort, but that I fear I shall torture my children with a nature similar to my mother's. It is a frightening notion - that I shall ever be like her. But in my treatments towards my brother I see a shadow of my mother, and thus worry sprouts.
posted by Mignon Chang at 4:46 AM
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