Sunday, September 04, 2005

reflections after reading "Anthem"

When I choose paper to write on, I look for paper that can calm me, that, simply looking at it brings me peace. It is difficult to find such paper of late in Taiwan. We have a surge of people who desire objects that are bold in color and design. The market both fosters and supplies this trend.
I am very picky with paper. I cannot stand cheap prints, for that would make my writing seem worthless; I cannot stand bold colors, it would distract me from my work; I cannot like blue or pink paper, it would tender my emotions and change what I had determined to write.
Such as it is… I enjoy the power I have, to pick and choose, to desire freely and have hope of obtaining. Is it not in human nature to desire power, be it in other humans or objects?
The worst torture, I believe, is to be rendered entirely powerless. To be told not to desire, not to own. Even the beggar has his bowl, his rags, his sidewalk and his will to travest the streets, though he may be reviled. If one were to say to you “Your work is matter of course, your life’s meaning is to be constantly grateful and why should you desire rewards for your labor? Why should you desire to be distinguished among men as someone special? If you attempt to do so we shall crush you.” What torture would such be! To own nothing, not even to love! Man was born to rule the world, not to live the life of an ant, where all his rudiments were designed to serve his colony and his queen.