academics and confusion

It completely befuddles me - the fact that what is going on between N. Korea, US and Japan has not become headline news in Taiwan - or at least, I have not a single notion of it.
On another note - I wonder what it is with being scholastically attuned? Been browsing and am semi-befuddled by the attitude some people have towards academics - they're A students, and studying is a pain that has to be done, good grades must be achieved, and meanwhile b**ch the system, have fun as often as possible and get date but don't exactly admire date's tendencies.
possible reasons1. too much pressure must find relief in some form.
2. Everyone is going through this must pretend it's nothing or that it's too painful to lower other people's defenses.
It's difficult to be coherent on this since I'm still feeling puzzled about this phenomenon. Writing it out usually helps me make sense of what's going on.
background : a society (not exactly the whole country, but at least nearly all the people who surround the subject) which cares about academic achievement because it has something to do with success, and everyone is fed + more.
Perhaps the problem lies with me. I'm way too serious and I can't understand how other people can't be...There are so many problems needing to be solved and so many things under abuse that I must do something, and the main point of education is to create a better society - a society of people who are informed and willing to take action - either in conducting their own lives with as little pain to others as possible or actively pursuing better systems. I'm not say I'm highminded - I simply believe that eveyone should at least care for what they are doing, do it the best way they can, and care more about the righting the wrongs of men. I understand that any form of administrative system for people can be unfair, but I also believe that most of the teachers and educators are doing the best they can. And complaining about it is childish. My classmates/peers do it almost incessantly, it's like a social skill you've got to learn to become a member of my social circle. It has gone so it influences me and I try to complain about my grades... but I really think that if I try hard I'll do well and if I don't I won't. If I try and don't do well what I should do is start changing my study methods not complaining... and all the time I'm focusing on my studying I'm thinking that it will be helpful for what I want to achieve in the future - it will give me more knowledge help change the system or the power to do so. As long as there are problems I cannot stop trying. I also enjoy studying, and if I don't I try to see the good points in the subjects I don't enjoy so I'll be able to do learn something from it. Maybe I'm being too idealistic but we do have to live with goals.
Would a universe with zero problems make an effort to birth problems because having no problems is a problem at least concerning our tendency to stop making an effort when all is calm.
okay, I'm typing while watching dog whisperer and it's kind of hard to concentrate so I'll stop here.

The National Holiday paradox - a sad story and other unpinned thoughts

The National Holiday Paradox
Taiwan.
On October 10th, 2006, a crowd of protesters created chaos at the National Holiday ceremony in front of Taiwan's Presidential House. They were calling for the deposition of President Chen on various counts of untrustworthy behavior - supposed embezzlement and corruption, unclearness on the spending of funds. The protesters stopped traffic, shook the cars of foreign delegates invited to attend the ceremony, fought whilst the ceremony was commencing, and in general ruined our National Holiday. It is also alleged that among the most demonstrative protestors were several assemblymen who had been in scandals involving corruption in the past few years. Appearantly they hoped their exuberant presence in the protest would both whitewash their 'misunderstandings' with public duty and also give them a plateform to show themselves.
It's the National Holiday. I'm not going to say I'm for or against the deposition of President a-Flat. I'm just saying that if their is any amount of justice or patriotism in the overthrowing of the Prez, it's all gone to moot with ruining our National Holiday. This day was not made for our president, it wasn't even made for the party he represents - it was made for our country. This country really isn't that bad. Simply protesting won't make it better. Actively voting for people who don't bribe, instead of not voting and letting vile, corrupt people (and their families) get elected, might help. A woman president known for lack of foresight won't make it better. Revolution will definitely make it worse. The greatest upheaval is in the hearts of the red/green(christmas colors, did you notice?)-shirted men and women. There are bigger fish to fry, sirs, and more effective ways to fry them.
On parties.
The history of a Party is suppose to represent its spirit. That's why teaching the history of a party, especially in a good light, is important for parties. But circumstances change, and what was idealism then when put to the test of power often cannot blossom into the visions it promised.

October 9, 2006 aspirations and miscellaneous

Went to cramschool on sunday. On the way I saw two blouses in the style I loved with slight tightening at the elbow, lower-collar and upperwaist - also in a very demure shade of deep grayish blue. Unfortunately did not bring enough cash with me. Attempted to bargain with the sales lady with my 7-11 coupon but was futile. Thought about returning to the train station after going home to get cash but decided not to since waiting for the bus is a prime waste of time and I have to weigh my time values against a pretty blouse. Have to be hopeful the thing will still be there next week.
On the other hand, went to the bookstore that night and ate my heart out. There were at least five books I would love to take home. Swore to myself that if I can't afford books I won't buy clothes until I can.
Our first exams for this semester are coming up. Surprisingly I love physics - even though I've flunked all but one of the quizzes that came up. All that really matters to me is that I'm enjoying my studies. My roommate Deborah told me I am one of the most unpressured people she's met. Not exactly a good thing if you want to survive in Taiwan's grade grinding churnmill. I want to live with no regrets. My mind is already quite vague with life's memories, at least I shan't make it a blur of intensive work - no day light. To me, hell would be a cell with absolutely nothing in it - no books to read, paper to write and draw on... that's why waiting for the bus is hell if there's no one waiting for the same bus as I (if there is I can read, my friend says I'm like an impolite old lady).
University of my dreams, please accept me. I'll write a love letter to you every day if that's what it takes.
ps: Ah, yes, wore a big white sunhat that day to cramschool mostly to fend off sun but also to refute the conservative Southern Taiwan fashion-sense. It was in partly Shu-tren-may style but looked better on me than on her. (the female mentioned is a product in the last two or three years of the increasingly homebound Taiwanese media)
pps: was curious why hydrogen peroxide (H2O2) was used as a disinfectant and its use was later deposed of. Asked health teacher and she said it was because it kills bacteria efficiently, but also kills human cells. It's a bit too irritating. Later read in the aging book shown above that it creates large amounts of free radicals (not sure if I'm translating right since I'm reading the chinese version) that destroys cells, especially targeting the genes in our nucleus. Interesting. I read another part of the book to my roommate Cindy and she said 'eww'. Roughly translated it said something like "fat is also susceptible to oxygenating, you can put the oil of your thanksgiving turkey out in the air for two or three days and then attempt smelling or tasting it, I guarantee you'll puke." Cindy is something of a gourmet, and anything concerning bad food makes her cringe. I love living with people I can tease.

August 28, 2006 Perfect Happiness

Perhaps I cannot be connected to God because I do not believe in perfect happiness. Then again, if any sort of world were perfect, I would not be happy. I've heard once that it isn't the environment we must ask for perfection, but our personalities to mature enough to appreciate whatever is there.
I used to think about what heaven was like. In 'Anne of Green Gable' series it was mentioned by one of the characters that heaven is us all up in the clouds singing and playing harps to praise God. I thought - now that seems horribly dull... Can we not do anything else? Study, perhaps? In that movie which I forget the name of played by Robert something (the guy who also played in Madame Doubtfire) it is said that heaven is all our best dreams come true. But that doesn't mention God in any way, which is the total context of what is 'eternal life'. I would like to think of heaven, my heaven, a place full of books and paper and pens and light - a library, really, or a mansion full of books, pillows, nice pens, paint boards, a ballroom, music...etc. Everything that I love.
I must be insane, but I prayed to God that - that I may die before I lose everything that makes me happy.
Sometimes a delicious shiver passes through me and I feel that I must follow it - that I must pursue something of grand importance and beauty - that there is truly something greatly worth pursuing. They say it is God. I do not know... perhaps we pin this longing on us to Him who is almighty and worthy - yet I cannot be made to feel the love for God in me to be as close to the passion that shoots fleeingly through my heart . To seek something - experience a joy a beauty that only life can give... something more than what is now. Perhaps there is a reason and a goal for this unknown longing, perhaps it is merely because we are humans and forever longing for what is not to be. I felt this sort of joy when I read Madeliene L'Engle's books, yet hers are an elementary stage, though highly pure. I felt this in 'The Dark Materials' by Philip Pullman (I admired this work so much that I took the bother to remember the author's name) to a rather spread out quality - yet his work seemed to speak more of the darkness of things.