sorry for sounding harsh

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?2006 Newsweek, Inc.

Sorry for sounding harsh, but this puzzles me... why would the cause of Diana's death by accident seem so unacceptable? People die by accident, however good, beautiful, kind, charming, victimized, rich or royal they are. We should not expect that some people, even ourselves, would lead a enchanting life and even a more enchanting death than others if we were good enough or if we had suffered more than others. The love of everyone in the world cannot check tragedy. If famous beloved people die special deaths, than it would mostly the cause of probability than the guidance of greater powers. We want to ignore chance and believe in fate event though we struggle to hold our fate in our own hands. Because we want to control our lives, we discover science, but we are basically very superstitious people at heart. I cannot let go of God, though I can't believe in him blindly.
To make so much hubbub over Diana's death and hoping it was not an accident will cause much more pressure on other people who have become the victims of finger-pointing. If a spirit beyond this dark threshold does exist, then let the facts be known and her spirit rest in peace without guilt.

Posted 12/30/2006 5:24 AM - email it

Israel, not the sheep we thought it was

History's regret.
"Go and explain to every man in the stree that the 1.Cairo trial is
of our making, and 2.Bat Galim is one battle in a campaign, and
the 3. prisoners in Syria failed in an operation that we initiated, and
that if Arabs had failed in our territory, we would have killed them
on the spot without any argument, as we did with the legionnaires
who innocently strayed into our strip of land near Mevo'ot Betar,
and every one of them has a mother who mourns her son even if
she is not a member of Parliament like Piga Ilanit - go and explain
all that. It is clear that the Ajour murder was the last straw and the
anger must be assuaged. Only this is the logic, none other. I do not
believe that, from the security point of view, retaliation will make
the slightest difference. On the contrary, I fear that it will serve as
the opening link in a new chain of bloodshed in the border area. "
Moshe Sharett, Prime minister of Israel 1953~1955, moderate voice in parliament against overwhelming call for a reprisal attack against Jordan following a border incident. Stating that most of the public was misguided concerning most of the incidents between Israel and their surrounding Arab countries, that in fact many of the incidents were provoked by Israel herself. Sharett was unable to control the military departments and the rising call for activism. He resigned all government duties in 1956.
1.Cairo trial: pending the withdrawal of british troops from the Suez Canal Zone. Military leaders in Israel believed that this act would remove the barrier between the two countries and would be followed by western military assistance to Egypt. They believed the withdrawal must be prevented. A Jewish espionage ring was formed by the military intelligence to cause mayhem in Egypt and thus convince the British that Egypt was unstable and it was unwise to withdraw. The parliament was not informed of this operation, nor was Sharett who would have been adamently against it. The attempts were amateurish at best and the ring was caught and tried. One committed suicide and two were executed.
2. Bat Galim: A test vessel that was sent through the Suez Canal to challenge Egyptian closure, whose blockage was a violation of the 1951 Security Council resolution. The ship was captured and held, but later released (but not allowed to pass through the canal) after brief negotiations with then president of Egypt Gamal Abdel Nasser as an act of good faith by Egypt.
3. Prisoners in Syria: A party of five Israeli soldiers conducting a mission to pick up a phone line tapping device were caught several kilometers inside Syria's territory. Matters were made worse when one of the soldiers who happened to be the son of a prominent political woman in Israel committed suicide in prison.

primary feelings on 'Iron Wall'

I have been, for a very long time, interested in history of Israel as a new state. Partly because we get so acquainted with its roots through the bible and there are also unfulfilled prophecies for its future that makes me curious for how it will play out. I have also read about the holocaust and it makes me more of a supporter of their cause than ever. Only recently, however, have I decided that the best way to resolve this curiousity is to get a book to read about it. I checked up on the internet and found several available to me at a local bookstore, I then looked up comments on the books and chose 'The Iron Wall' by Avi Shlaim to read.
So far I'm only a few chapters into the book, and I find it far more interesting than 'collapse' (for which bored me to the extent that I haven't finished it yet, though I'm sure it has a lot of inspiring information). I had a rosy picture of how Israel battled of her Arab counterparts, but I also realized that there were a lot of things I didn't know. What methods were used to birth this nation? How did the Jews clear off large areas of the original inhabitants? A question that the book will not answer (since it's not the main course to be studied in this book) but which popped up in my mind a few pages into the book was this "What were the lives of the first immigrants, or the Yishuv, like in a mostly Palestinian country? What happened as the Palestinians gradually came to understand their plan?"
A few facts I learned: before Israel, Jews presented about ten percent of the population in Palestine, mostly through immigration. After Israel became a state, Jews rose to more than 80 percent of the population in Israel (not counting the West Bank and Gaza). Why? Because in the wars following it's birth, Israel seized towns and evacuated its Palestinians residents. Also, I learnt that peace didn't come easy mostly because Israel is unwilling to compromise its original goals.
I'm going to go off a tangent here. I understand that every Israelite joins the military for a time. I wonder if it would create a culture of believing that a person has only come of age if he/she has been through the military? It might not, and I can think of two reasons why. One, because Judaism already has a coming of age ceremony. Two, because people in this age are more critical of establishing cultures that are more mythlike and less inclusive of dissidents because of the belief in freedom of self-expression as the golden mandate. What I mean is: The idea that one can only be an adult by going through the military is extremely narrow and is more opinion based than fact induced (that is, the military does not foster any traits that would make an individual physically more of an adult than age does).

Billion names of the devil (a translation)

This is a story written by someone else in Chinese. It was published on the 2003 June edition on 'Scientific American Chinese version' as part of the Chinese viewpoint series. Seeing as this is a chinese viewpoint article I know it would not be published in the English version of Sciam and so I have translated the story into English because I have enjoyed it immensely and felt that it is well worth sharing. Even though I realize that a great deal of this story may be more associated with science fiction than anything fact-based, I feel that it still touches a chord with what we feel sometimes - a feeling that eats away at us when we least expect it, the desire to know that there is something or someone faraway that holds a key to what our existence means.
Billion names of the devil
Author: Shi-Gwo Chang
Translator: Mignon Chang

My Dearest Alice:
Please forgive me for not writing to you until today. In truth I think of you every single night and day, but the thought pains me every time and I cannot continue writing, almost as though part of my heart soil has shriveled up; it hurts to even touch, so I try to avoid it. But I know where you are, Alice, I truly know! I can say, but I know. I have a feeling that I will see you again, just like that day I saw the white cranes soaring in the azure sky and had a feeling that something bad was going to happen. But this time it no longer an ill presentiment. I have a sense of anticipation, a sense of joy, almost a happy premonition.

Countless cranes were soaring in the azure sky, spiraling downward from way up high. A flock of paper cranes floated down in front of Alice. Without thinking, she reached out a hand a caught one. The paper crane rapidly changed shape in her hand, unfolding to become a leaflet, it began to speak. his is a moral battle,?the voice of the empire supreme leader intoned he justice of the empire has come to release the people of Farg, the people of Farg will receive freedom. No enemy can withstand the army of the Empire. Farg people, to resist is futile, surrender now! The sooner you accept the dominion of the Empire, the sooner we shall return your freedom.?
Alice laughed softly and started to throw away the leaflet. To her surprise, the leaflet clung to her hand, loudly proclaiming ou are not a Farg, you are a citizen of the Empire, is that not so? You are a heretic, a traitor to the empire. Traitor! Know this, opposing the empire means death.?After repeating this three times, the leaflet started burning up by itself. Luckily Paul flipped out his pocketknife, first distinguishing the fire with his mini-extinguisher, then slicing the leaflet into tiny pieces with his knife. Pieces of the leaflet fluttered to the ground, still guttering raitor!?/SPAN>
he empire propaganda attacks have become more high tech lately.?Paul said, laughingly aper can unfold itself, speak, and self-ignite ?that not being all, to be able to identify a person is truly challenging. On the other hand, it may not be so difficult. Youe still carrying the Empire identity card, right? If you weren carry that smart card and it could still identify you, I would be truly impressed. Sadly this sort of propaganda can only bring adverse effects. A freedom that has to be bestowed ?such freedom isn worth accepting.?/SPAN>
o threat Empire citizens ?it too much!?Alice said with an angry pout hat wrong with being a dissenter? All Empire citizens have the right to criticize the government wrongful policies.?/SPAN>
Paul looked at the slim, frail woman beside him gently hat true, all citizens have the right to oppose the government policies, but Farg isn the best place to exhibit dissent. It much too dangerous here. It might be better to return to the motherland and attend protests there.?/SPAN>
 not going back!?Alice said  not here for tourism, I here with my classmates to be a human shield to protect the water factory. If the Empire sends planes to bomb the factory a lot of people in Farg are going to die, especially children, of water deprivation.?/SPAN>
Paul was shocked. Even though he was the most outstanding physicist in the Empire University, he rarely concerned himself with political affairs. Only for Alice had he become a heretic in people eyes. Alice had to come to Farg, so he followed. Originally he thought she had come here to do research and would go home in a few days, he never thought that she had come here to act as a human shield! ?/SPAN>Alice, that is way too dangerous. Don be so na鴳e to think that with you guys standing in the way the empire would think twice about bombing the water factory. I know you are discontent with the empire policies, but you don have to express yourself this way. Also, you aren well, it too hard to live in such a backward place.?/SPAN>
 not your student and I don need your nagging! My friends and I have thought it over, it the only way. If you aren willing to stay, go home.?With that, Alice started to walk towards the water factory. Paul stood there, speechless for the moment. She was right, she was his childhood friend and girlfriend, not his student, he couldn coach her, but how could he persuade her? Paul was considering this when a scene that he would never forget came before his eyes. Countless cranes were soaring in the azure sky, spiraling downward from way up high. A flock suddenly started to fly towards the water factory, something was not right. Paul was about to call to Alice when it was too late. A white flash, Paul was shaken to the ground by the shock of the explosion. By the time he had recovered his senses, the water factory and its surround edifices were no more.
The Empire commanding central said that the Fargs had intentionally destroyed the water factory to cause mass civilian death, and then blame it on the Empire air-fleet. The Fargs said that it was the Empire bomb. Paul calculated how many tons of explosives it would take to destroy the water factory and understood that the Fargs could not have possibly initiated such a move, only the Empire bombs had such power. Paul was no longer silent and came out to accuse the military. The accusation of the Empire University noted physicist was not to be trifled with and the military was finally willing to announce an investigation. Of course, no results would be forthcoming. Paul was put on the black list. But after the death of Alice he had become a completely different person, he asked for a break from the school and the University was willing to allow him a permanent vacation. Paul went back to his old countryside home and from then on came out only rarely. Society soon forgot about him.

My dearest Alice:
Yesterday I dreamt of you again. You stood in the burning streets of Farg. The Empire tanks were pinpointed towards the neighboring apartments. People ran out of the burning buildings and were shot by the Empire soldiers?machine guns. The speakers on the tanks kept blaring he Empire militia has come to liberate you, you shall receive your freedom.?A mother was killed, and an empire soldier gave her child a piece of chocolate. The child in psychotic confusion started to laugh and cry at the same time, battle reports caught the image of the child laughing hysterically and the image immediately appeared on television ?to prove that the military was benevolent and kind to the people. You smiled at me sadly and said he Fargs have finally won their freedom through death.?/FONT>

Since Paul moved back to the country he would go in town every Wednesday at noon to have dinner with Alice mother at the YWCA. Alice mother had rheumatism and had difficulty walking. In the morning she could walk slowly the the trainstation by her self and take the bus to the Y, when they had finished their meal Paul would drive her home.
Besides Alice home was a maple forest. When the couple first met, he would come to look for Alice. Alice mother wouldn allow them to go far, so they would take walks in these woods. Paul noticed that Alice mother had hung up a string of paper cranes by the front door, this was Alice favorite Origami animal. He couldn help bringing up Alice. When Paul mentioned how Alice still stood in the streets of Farg, Alice mother suddenly caught his had and stopped him from speaking on.
lease don say anymore! Alice is in heaven, let her dwell there in peace.?/SPAN>

My dearest Alice, I don feel that you have gone to heaven. If you have, then I would never see you again, then what would I do? But I know for sure you are not in heaven, you are in another parallel world. Of course I can explain this to your mother, she doesn understand physics. For her, she would rather believe you were in heaven.
When a world is facing decisions, it would split into many parallel worlds ?some would become better, some would become worse. Even though you can observe parallel worlds, you can deduce their existence. It just like you went to a hotel to reserve and room, and the room number happened to be your birthday, so you can deduce that there are many rooms in the hotel and one of them happens to have your birthday. By the same principle, if you knew the world were especially awful, you could be sure that there exist worlds that are much better.
Perhaps, the so called heaven is our vision of what a better parallel world would be like? My dearest Alice, we don go to heaven when we die, but we go to a better parallel world. All our good deed, we may say, is to increase the probability of that better world appearing.
My dearest love, why do I have to say these things to you? Because if all the parallel universes existed eternally, death would not be an issue. We would simply hop from one universe to another. When all the paralle universes exist for eternity, time would only seem like a mirage to us. Without time, death would not be an issue, you and me will always exist. You have not died, but are merely in another parallel world, and my love for you will never change either.

Paul drove around the maple forest and parked his car next to the stream there. After shutting off the engine, one can hear the water gurgling. Only Alice and he knew this place. Alice often said that if they had children in the future, they could bring their children on picnics to this secret place. He didn have these imaginations because he knew that Alice had congenital heart disease and it would be unwise to give birth. As Alice mother said, to be able to live life peacefully is happiness in itself.

Alice, you know how I am. Knowing that you are in another parallel world, I wouldn just sit here doing nothing and not go find you. Ie recently thought of something. Even there are plentiful parallel universes, but the difference between them shouldn be too great. For example if I went to a restaurant and made a choice with either smocked ham or beef, that in itself would make two worlds, though they are not so different. Most of the time, parallel world can combine on the basis that they are so similar, so under the appropriate circumstances usually there are only the results of two parallel world ?one is the culmination of good, and the other is the culmination of evil. This is what one may call a Universal node.
Alice, I strongly believe we happen to be in a very important universal node, facing a major battle between good and evil. Our world seems to be the culmination of evil whilst the other world is the culmination of good. According to probability, the combination of the two worlds should be balanced in the number of similar parallel worlds. But why do we always feel that evil is stronger, even to the extent of lording over all?
Absolute good or absolute evil means that one disciple can absolutely lord over all good or evil. Because the probability is zero, in theory absolute good or absolute evil cannot exist. But when good can be turned into evil, or evil turned into good, relative good or relative evil may exist. I know what I am searching for ?the key to turning evil into good.
Alice, I have thought about this for a long time and finally I understand, good and evil exist in one heart, and the way one heart goes comes from what we think, and thoughts require language. Only language is the universal node, the key to the battle between good and evil.

Paul walked into the woods and sat on the ground that had been velvet-ed by leaves. Maple leaves blew around him and dropped silently to the ground. He took a deep breath, and switched on a machine on his knee.

The way to turn good into evil, is to change all the good names into evil. Do you remember the ancient tale? hen the monk has recited all the billion names of God, the worlds would be destroyed.?Because people have passed this down orally, the tale has become a bit muddy, but it really doesn mean all the worlds would be destroyed, it means that the good world would be destroyed. The monk is a disguised devil, on the surface he speaks of righteousness, but in fact he does evil things. He says all that is good and does everything that is evil. The true power that destroys a good world are those who pretend to do good.(Actually parallel worlds always exist, e destroyed?should actually be said as hange the situation?
By the same meaning, the way to change evil into good is to change all the evil names into good. If I can recite all the billion names of the devil, the evil world shall be destroyed! Of course this is not simple, because the devil name is very complex, not made up from a few simple letters. The devil name can be more complex than a billion books, normal people may not understand upon first sight.
Alice, I have thought of a way to enumerate all the billion names of the devil. I don need to visit all the worlds of evil, I only need to find out all the names of the evil worlds in one world, and this would bring the same effect, because time and space can be alternated. I can use a molecular device and spell the billion names of the devil and quickly read them aloud. Once my machine has succeeded, a lot of parallel worlds will become good worlds. When only good is left in this world, my dearest Alice, we shall meet again.
But the resulting good world will not be in a stable condition, it may quickly change into a different situation. So Alice, you may not remember me, but I will always love you. Even if you should forget all, please do not suspect my love.

A billion worlds, suddenly destroyed. A billion worlds, suddenly reborn.
Countless cranes were soaring in the azure sky, spiraling downward from way up high. A flock of paper cranes floated down in front of Alice. Without thinking, she reached out a hand a caught one. The paper crane docilely lay in her palm, occasionally twitching its wings. Alice lifted her hand and the paper crane slowly rose into the sky. She raised her head to gaze at that azure sky, and then to survey the far horizons. A smiling woman in black took her child hand and walked slowly away. A tear rolled down Alice cheek, but she did not know why; she seemed to remember a person in a faraway world, and yet seemed to remember nothing.
On the forgotten shore, another billion worlds are suddenly reborn, another billion worlds suddenly destroyed.

Dreams surprise us

Dreamt that I was fatally attractive to mother-in-laws... that is, a lot of women wanted me to be their son's wife. Most of these women were rich and their sons were my age, dependent, soft-willed, focused on the pleasures of food and comfort, and didn't care more or less about me. To my surprise, though I was against the idea of becoming the bride to any one of them, I found myself first engaged to one, then also engaged to another, so I was at once the future daughter-in-law of two prestigious families. Then one of my future mother-in-laws (who was a small, sickly, hardworking and sweet tempered woman who I really like and didn't want to hurt for fear she'd get a stroke or some equally dire condition) asked me to take care of her son after she died. I then told her, regrettably, that :"I'm sorry, I don't really care for your son - he doesn't seem to much care for me either. If I have to marry him, without any love between us, I'm sure I would leave him sooner or later, so I don't think it's such a good idea to maintain this engagement any longer." It seemed, actually, that I didn't have much of a choice - I had to ask the woman to let me off because I wasn't allowed to cancel the engagement myself. Thankfully, she was kind. The other future mother-in-law was more difficult to deal with and it took some shouting and elusive maneuvers on my part to shake her off. Thankfully (or not so thankfully), a war seemed to be going on at the time, and in the chaos all agreements concerning this came to a halt.
Eventually, I found myself in a busy market and public order was in tatters. Since it was unsafe to be about, the only non-repulsive member of my suitors (who happened to be one of my schoolmates at my current high school in real-life who is a marvelous pianist and whom I consider a friend) sent two of his his buddies to escort me so I would be safe. One of them asked me why I didn't accept when Yuan (that is my friend's name)'s family sent people to propose a marriage (I believed that his mother had sent that entourage and refused because it would be extremely awkward - seeing as we're merely friends)
I replied "He never asked me(himself)."
"He was pursuing you."
"If he was, I didn't know." I said "I don't believe he loves me in that way."
Suddenly before me was a river with cement blocks set in it. Some of the blocks were barely above the water, while others were several feet above water. I pointed to the almost submerged blocks and said "I would rather live in insecurity and possibly a short life with one who loves me than (pointing to a block higher up) live in security with one who doesn't love me."
I think this is the result of me hearing about the story of the marriage of Princess Diana. My roommate Deoborah was doing a report on her and told me about her story. In girl's comic books there are always plots about how people who are brought together by force, especially when a girl enters a family way above her status, they eventually find happiness...It's very misleading to young girls and I believe the belief in such tales may make girls more vulnerable - to possessive or manipulative men.

observations: Taiwan culture

My roommates decided to use my extremely annoying alarm clock to wake us all up in the morning - so we would be sure to wake up. In the past its cadence had inspired murder in my normally sweet tempered companions. So I said, lightly "Whoever wakes up first to shut it off, please be sure not to be too rough with it - it looks sturdy, but its really quite delicate." And Deborah, who had been among the passionate for twisted alarm-clock remains, laughingly said "Oh, I know, you must be talking about me."
I don't know how this sentence sounds in English, but it's quite amusing in Chinese.

In music class one of my classmates (male) made loud remarks about another of my classmate's (male) expansive mass in correlation with flattening a city. The victim of this 'insult', hearing this (it was meant to be heard), took his drumsticks (we were playing drums that day), ran over to the speaker, and feigned piercing the offender's abdomen with dramatical execution. Much to the amusement of offender, victim, and all around.

But I would question the essence of my soul

How much longer can I rein in my soul
From its agile decay
More is lost and less is gained
Whilst seeking proof of purpose

But I would question the essence of my soul

A question mark at the end of this soliloquy
Do you know a soul that can say
I love you and only you.
In truth, there is no other one
That I regard as my better half?
Often I feel restless at this claim
What claim is it? Rash, I say
Not knowing what… (can knowledge be too much,
Or avarice another name for sense?)
The ownership of another soul entails
Are we one
And no other can do?
And what one loves
Can only be
Pure, in itself
The one and only

(If we state it is so
enough and enough
perhaps we shall value more
our lives for its worth
as the gambler plays by his losing cards
desire and hope name chance his faith)

And what is purity?
Untainted… unaffected
A nature pure and genial
Or passionate – according to like
Will bestow affection

(can a man love an infant
as his better half?
for she’s pure – the purest when
she knows no words, and cannot yet be
conscious of her own adorability)

If one day I were to exchange my soul for another
I would hope that my mother would know
For everything I do and pursue
Will most likely be the same as before
That soul will adopt my memory
My genes, my temperament
My urges, my loves, my dislikes
(a soul does not contain neurons, I heard)

I would hope that my mother would know
So I can confirm that she loves me, and only me
As her child, not because I wear the shell that she with grace delivered me
But that I
Am unreplaceably
Unique!

conversation with a spider

was getting ready to brush my teeth when discovered the sink was stopped. The stopper was in the sink and I was about to unplug it when I noticed a lovely corpse lying on the water. It was diamond shaped - a spider with long spindy legs slightly bent to form a cage-like cavity with it's small round body positioned like a handle to hold the cage with. I was deciding whether to pick it to take a closer look under my lamp when it twitched. I was glad then that I hadn't pulled the stopper or it would have irrevocably spiraled away into the mysterious abyss of Kaohsiung city plumbing which would have no doubt meant its death. Trusting the spider's survival instincts, I took a tissue and touched the surface of the water where the spider lay on it's side. Immediately the long spindy legs responded, unfolding with amazing reflexes, it touched the tissue and arranged itself rapidly so that it could adequately climb onto the tissue. With alertness that contrasted with its earlier 'play-dead' state the spider scrambled up white tissue. I was so surprised by its speed (the speed with which it becoming proximate with my hand, that is) that I suddenly pulled the tissue sideways. The lightweight creature certainly wasn't holding on to the fibers with hooks, for it swayed and was flying in the air straight for its watery grave once more. With adeptness that astonished myself (and a great deal of dumb luck) I recaptured the spider on the tissue and immediately touched the tissue towards the comparatively dry shore of the cream colored ceramic. The spider landed gently and with graceful stride glided into a dark corner where it was lost to sight.